Observation and the Meaning of Life

A friend a I were recently talking about being observant.

To be observant, you have to be a bit outside of yourself. You have to be focused on the world around you, and pay attention to it, in order to actually pick out details.

As a writer, I find this attention to detail crucial, but I don’t know if I am observant because I write, or if I write because I am observant.

I’m fascinated by details. I love trivia, and I tend to notice all kinds of details, from the subtle contrast of colors in a field of flowers, to the tick of a tire on the road when there is a pebble stuck in the treads. I notice insects when I am walking (I try hard not to step on bees when I am ambling barefoot) and subtle scents on the breeze. I can spend long minutes contemplating the color of a fallen leaf, or even study a simple object, such as a pencil, and wonder exactly how it was made.

I love to watch for nuances in people’s facial expressions as I speak to them, or, even better, when they are engaged in a task not involving me... no, I don’t mean that in a creepy way! I like to look at people sitting in the car next to me at a traffic light, and try to figure out from their facial expressions what they are thinking, and speculate on what kind of person they are or what kind of day they are having.

I think perhaps this is a habit (or skill, depending on how you see it) that helps with caregiving. I have learned to read people’s facial expressions to the point that I can often figure out what even my most uncommunicative clients are feeling. I once had a client who had aphasia (loss of ability to speak) resulting from a stroke. It was thought that he had also lost the ability to understand language. I wasn’t with him long before I figured out his brain was still clicking along in high gear, and he had a great sense of humor! Eventually he reacquired the ability to say a few words: “yes,” “no” and “damn it!” With those three utterances and facial expressions, we could pass a pleasant day together, communicating quite well.

If you know what you are looking for, it is almost impossible for someone to get away with lying to you, and you can know when the people around you are hiding pain or irritation, or even if perhaps they love you.

Most of all, though, paying attention to detail gives me a deeper appreciation for the world, with all its beauty, fascination... even its ugliness.

As Thelma will tell you, it gives my life meaning, because if I don’t live it like it does... it simply won’t.