Go ahead, push me around if you want...

Recent events in my life have gotten me to thinking about bullying.

There are many forms of it, from a little touch of meanness to outright cruelty, and it can be physical as well as mental.

I have been subjected to both in my life, and I must say, I would prefer a punch in the face to mental abuse any day. Bruises on the flesh heal. Bruises on the psyche... not so much.

I have often said that I simply don't understand "mean." I don't get why one person feels a need to deliberately hurt another. But getting up at three in the morning gives me time to contemplate such things, and I think I have figured it out.

I think that some people actually derive pleasure from inflicting pain on others. While most people take pleasure from laughter with friends or eating chocolate or riding roller coasters, I think there are some whose pleasure centers are activated by the tears of others. Serial killers get intense pleasure from their "work." I think there may be a bit of that in play with a bully, who may not feel the need to actually murder someone, but crave the joy they extract from hurting another, whether it is from shoving them into a wall or humiliating them to tears.

Actually, maybe more people than not; that would certainly explain the proliferation of "reality TV," where the point seems to be humiliating others. I worry about our society when the masses gather at their TV screens and grin with delight over others being embarrassed and bullied for millions to see.

Maybe not all of those folks are getting their pleasure directly from hurting another. For some, it could well be that they merely feel a need to prove their superiority because they themselves are so insecure. Perhaps they are intimidated by another person's success, and they believe that if they knock that person down a peg, they are leveling the playing field. That is certainly easier than striving for success yourself. It's sort of like tripping the leader in a foot race so you can run past them. Win by cheating if that is the only way. Only, there is no true win.

I have known a few people who seem to believe that they truly are superior to everyone else, and seem to think it is their duty to point out everyone else's shortcomings. Perhaps they feel they are actually educating others when they correct them publicly (and often sarcastically) like Alex Trebek upbraiding a contestant on Jeopardy: "Oh, no," with a smirk on his face. "Of course, the answer is 'DaVinci.'" (It's easy, of course, when you have all the answers on a card in front of you, carefully researched my interns. And I can certainly understand how Mr. Trebek might have developed an inferiority complex over the years, being constantly surrounded by people who really do know most of the answers.)

I have many faults, some which shame me, but I am truly grateful that wanting to cause another person pain is not among them. I am not saying I never hurt anyone else, but I can tell you that when I do, it hurts me, just as it hurts me to see anyone bullied. Does that make me a bleeding heart? So be it.

I would direct this toward those bullies, but there would, of course, be no point. Those that are wired to derive pleasure from another's pain will simply enjoy knowing that bullying hurts, and the others will probably not recognize themselves.

Of course, the irony in this might well be that I consider myself superior to the bullies...

What do you think?