Why book four isn't finished yet

Sometimes, I am a caregiver, first!


Yes, I have a passion for writing, and the Rainie Series is an important part of my life. But the thing is, like Rainie, I also provide home care for the elderly. I recently lost a much-loved client, but her husband is still in need of home care, so that is where I'm spending my time.

There are days (usually after the loss of a client) when I think it is all too much, and I decide I'm just not going to be a caregiver any more. The pain of losing someone who becomes such an integral part of your life is just too much, and the thought of attaching to yet another person, only to lose them, seems like a foolish thing to do.

And yet, I can't NOT be a caregiver. For all the pain of loss, there is so much good that I gain. I learn from my clients, not just about how things were in the past, but about changing mores and different perspectives on this life we live. I experience other family's dynamics, good and bad, that have made me realize there is no such thing as a "dysfunctional family." They all function, but comparing them is like comparing a blender and a toaster. They have different purposes to serve, and we shouldn't judge how one person's family serves them.

I have learned the benefits of self-sacrifice, and the joy of putting another's needs before mine. I have learned to appreciate the little things in life, like a sunny day or a bouquet of flowers, whatever brings a momentary, if fleeting, joy.

Yes, i will get back to writing Rainie, but I have a few new things to learn, first.

I am NOT a "sitter."


I recently had a call from a lady who wanted to hire me, because her previous "sitter" had quit. Perhaps that was the problem; a "sitter" sounds like someone with absolutely no investment in the client's well being, and therefore no real incentive to remain with them.

I am not a sitter.

I am responsible not only for getting my client up in the morning, but for helping them find a reason to get up.
I make sure they are clean, comfortable and well groomed, as well as safe.
I keep them occupied in mind and body to the best of their abilities, push them to do more if they can and comfort them if they can't.
I keep their environment clean, safe and healthy. I prepare meals the way they prefer them and assist them to eat them. I shop for the food or take them to shop for it.
I schedule doctor's appointments and get them there on time; I take notes so the client and the family will be up to date on the doctor's orders. I call the family or the doctor when I see a problem, since I am often the first one to recognize a problem exists. I remind them to take their meds and monitor side effects.
I make sure their bowels and urinary tracts are on schedule and take appropriate measures if they are not. I clean up when they are incontinent without making a fuss or making them feel as if they have "created a mess." No, this is not glamorous or fun, it is simply something that needs to be done.
I don't get angry when they are abusive or forget my name or they refuse to cooperate. I listen to their stories and smile and respond, even if I have heard them a hundred times.
I wait patiently for them to complete a task, even if I could do it myself much quicker. I encourage their independence and NEVER point out their failures.
I am a stand-in for family when they can't be there. I soothe their fears and share their laughter.
Sometimes I let them eat desert first.

I am not a sitter. I am a caregiver.