Don't Make Me Hurt You

I am having difficulty writing the second book of Shadow, and I was trying to explain to someone why I had to set it aside.

George, the main character, is not a nice man, as all who have read “Shadow” already know. The problem is, in book two, he does something so heinous, that I am disgusted with him, and I simply cannot continue to write his story.

“Wait a minute,” this someone says to me, “What are you talking about? You invented George, you can have him do whatever you want him to do.”

Well, that’s only true up to a point.

Once a character is created in my head, they do take on a sort of life of their own. No, I am not Sybil, with multiple personalities struggling to come to the forefront. I promise you, I have never thought of myself as a six foot six inch male with a broadsword who goes around slicing up whoever gets in my way. The thought has never even occurred to me... well, there was that really bad bout of PMS I had back in July 1980, but that’s another story.

So anyway, I created George, and I set him down in a particular scenario that I also created. And then I pretty much turned him loose.

In order for my characters and scenarios to seem real, they must follow the paths set before them, but also have some “free will.” I throw myself into their world, and I “go with the flow.” I usually have a basic idea of where a scene is going, but once I really get into it, the characters often surprise me. Most of them, Like Rainie and Thelma and Nate, make me proud. They have good instincts and ethics, and they tend to do what I would do in a given situation.

But then there is George. Is he my hidden evil twin, like in Stephen King’s “The Dark Half?” I don’t think so. I think it is more that George is representative of the potential evil I see in the world. He represents those people (and we have all encountered at least one in our lives) who seem capable of almost anything so long as it benefits themselves. You know, the ones that you hear about on the news that make you just shake your head, wondering how in the world they could behave the way they do.

So, I put George in a situation and let him go, and he did something so awful that even I can’t believe he did it. I should have seen it coming, I suppose. I should have known he would be pushed to the edge by circumstances, but nonetheless, it really made me angry.

“Well, change it!” This person I was explaining things to said to me. “It’s your book.”

True, and George is a mere product of my imagination. However, if I just “change it,” it will be obvious that I did just that. If I force my characters to do something, the whole thing comes across as stiff and unnatural, like a Yuppie at a biker bar.

So I’ve set George aside for the moment. I have him sitting in a dark corner in my head, a “time out,” if you will, where he can think about his actions and maybe decide that he should handle the situation differently.

I hope he can do that, because right now I’m so angry with him that I could hurt him. And in truth, I do have the power to do that...

Just sayin’, George. Just sayin’.