I Know I Should Reread This Before Posting, But....

I apologize for not updating my blog for so long. You see, the problem is, I haven’t had anything to say, and really, the best policy in that case is to just keep our mouth shut, right? I mean, no one wants to hear a person rattle on and on about absolutely nothing… unless perhaps you are Jerry Seinfield, and you are capable of making absolutely nothing hilarious. Hmm… that was rather ambiguous sentence structure, so take it however you prefer to read it.

Now, to be completely honest, I have actually had quite a bit I have wanted to say these past weeks, but sometimes what you want to say and what you should say are two different things. Frankly, I am not always good about clamping my mouth shut when the discussion is in person, although I have gotten a lot better at it this past decade or so than I ever was in my misspent youth.

On the other hand, when it comes to writing I have the magic of the delete key to aid me in my endeavors to filter what I say. So when I start to write something that is snarky or sarcastic or just plain rude, I can read it over, and if it is maybe a bit meaner than I intend I it to be (I really don’t like to hurt people’s feelings) I can highlight and delete, or simply backspace and voila! The hurtful thing was never said.

That is, provided I reread it before I hit “submit” or “send,” depending on whether it is an email or a blog post.

How many of us have wished for such magic keys in everyday life? For instance, someone says “I’m sorry I stepped on your foot,” and you, in a bad mood because your cat hawked up a hairball in your favorite shoe that morning reply “Watch where you’re going with those clod feet of yours!” The little old lady who apologized leans back on her walker and looks up at you with tears in her eyes. Now, don’t you wish you could just tap your nose a couple of times and the words would delete themselves?

There are many times when it would be nice to be able to erase the spoken word. A few phrases people commonly wish they can take back: “I’ll do it.” “I love you.” “Go ahead and shoot me.”

Of course, there is no such magic delete key, but there is always the apology. This works in some cases (although once heard, some words are never forgotten, no matter how many times a person tells you they hardly remember it at all, sometimes telling you that every day for the next thirty years). Sometimes an apology won’t help at all (see three sample phrases, above. Go ahead, try it out loud; you see? An apology won’t work with those.)

Where was I going with all this?

Oh yeah, I remember. I simply haven’t had anything to say that I thought it was really a good idea to say (or write.) So I’ll leave you with this: try to remember to say a phrase to yourself, inside your head, before you spew it out for the world to hear. And always reread what you’ve written before you send it out.

And one more thing: I apologize for the things I didn’t say, because even if they weren’t out loud, I feel a little bad for being so mean-spirited.

Happy Monday, all!